


A Midwinter Day's Nightmare

by TheMusicalCC



Category: Ghostbusters (Comics), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Cute, Friendship, Gen, Love Potion/Spell, Rated for Language but there ain't really anything that bad if you're OK with a couple of F bombs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 10:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17937839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMusicalCC/pseuds/TheMusicalCC
Summary: Shakespearean sprites and love potions in New York on Valentine's day. No, I'm not having a stroke. I think.





	A Midwinter Day's Nightmare

“Roll that one by me again” Kylie said, eyes set on the spectacle, unsettled. It wasn’t _really_ the worst or even the most unexpected thing she’d seen in Ray’s Occult, but it sure was up there among the top three. Janine rubbed her temples and started over.

“OK, Puck. You know Puck, right? From the play?”

“Midsummer Night’s dream, yeah”

“Not a figment of Shakespeare's imagination as it turns out”

“Not surprised, to be honest” Ray called from the backroom, still digging among his inventory frantically, as he had been practically since he arrived with Janine and their cargo on tow “Shakespeare probably just borrowed the name of an existing sprite for the play”

“Well, the little _sprite_ ” Janine spit the word out as though it were a curse “Has apparently been sprinkling fairy dust or some crap like that all over New York and people are acting crazy”

“I’m surprised it’s not on the news yet” Ray observed.

“It’s valentine’s, they probably think it’s _normal_ ” " Kylie said with a shudder.

“They probably think he’s cupid too- say, Janine, what did he look like?”

“Peter Pan meets Rosemary’s baby” Janine said “Some scrawny kid wearing leaves. Little horns, pointy ears, goat eyes”

“Did he fly?”

“I didn’t- look, Ray, I had kind of a _situation_ in my hands, as you can probably guess” Janine motioned in the general direction of her back, where Peter Venkman was hanging off Walter Peck’s arm, ignoring his constant attempts to free himself “What does it matter if the damn kid could fly or not? I came back from my lunch break to some frolicking forest-kid, raining purple glitter and _this”_ she motioned towards them again, aggressively.

“No one else was affected?” Kylie asked.

“Just Peter, I think. I thought he was possessed or something until it clicked- Puck. Love potion. Duh. So now Dr. V’s got the hots for Peck. Which would be fine except he’s acting like a nutjob from it”

“Why, what’d he do?”

“Almost bite Ray’s face off, for starters”

“He’ll be fine if he keeps away from my man” Peter said almost nonchalantly.

“I was just coming to see what the ruckus was about” Ray said, sounding mildly offended at the accusation.

“Wouldn’t let anyone come close, we had to give them the whole backseat in Ecto- went berserk when we suggested they needed some distance, to test the strength of their love”

“It’s all a trick to tear us apart! Can’t you ice-hearted pricks recognize love when you see it? _”_

“Sure, I recognized it the dozen other times you’ve brought someone you just met over”

“I was young and didn’t know any better”

“Three weeks ago?”

“Look, Janine, all I can tell you is I’d never felt this way!”

“Course you hadn’t- you’re intoxicated!”

“Tell her, Walter” Peter tugged from Peck’s arm playfully, but also with a bit more strength than necessary “Tell her how you feel”

“Nauseated” came Peck’s reply.

“Those are butterflies, don’t worry” Peter clapped on his cheek playfully, affectionate “I have that effect on people”

“Boss, _please_ tell me you have something to fix this” Kylie was all but grimacing. She’d never even liked it when couples were overly affectionate in front of her and she was finding it to be much worse when one of them was apparently too-far gone to notice how saccharine and creepy they were being and the other was very much not into it “Someone’s gonna puke if this keeps up, I’m just not sure if it’s gonna be Mr. Peck or me”

“I’m on it- in the play the same flower used for the potion acts as the antidote but here it was some… sort of dust, right?”

“Glitter. Or at least it looked like it, it might have been sand. Didn't see any of it on the ground later, though” Janine corrected him.

“I don’t suppose you collected some when it fell” Kylie said.

“It wasn’t exactly the first thing on my mind when Peter was already tackling the poor guy while singing the worst rendition of ‘ _I can’t help myself_ ’ you’ve ever heard”

“It’s our song, ain’t it, Walter? _Sugar pie honey buuuunch-_ ”

“Please don’t sing” Peck all but lamented. The door opened, a ripple of bell sounds cutting through the tense atmosphere and Eduardo walked in, seemingly oblivious to what was going on, a brown paper bag in his hands.

“Hey, Ky, sorry I’m late, I was-” he finally noticed, stared for a moment and then deadpanned “Woah. What’d I miss?”

“We’re in love” Peter said with a broad smile.

“Uh, congrats” he placed the bag on the counter in front of Kylie and tapped on it with his fingers, as if to tell her to check the contents out, before going for his apron. Kylie peeked inside and gave him a frightened look.

“Not you too!”

“What?” Janine reached inside it and brought out a red box with an illustration of a black cat and a white cat entangled in a waltz. She blinked at the brand name “My spanish is rusty but does it say ‘ _Cat-tongues_ ’ on there?”

“It’s chocolate” Eduardo said, seeming confused by their reactions “I figured- since Kylie likes cats-”

“You don’t have to get me valentine’s day chocolate!” Kylie burst, panicky “The day’s weird enough already as it is?”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Just, um, just a question” Janine said in a conciliatory tone “Did you happen to run into a scrawny kid wearing leaf costume?”

He thought about it for a second, eyes narrowing.

“You mean dressed as a leaf or-?”

“Look, Eduardo” Kylie had gone bright pink “I- uh, you know I’m very fond of you and all but-”

“Wait, you think-?” he pointed at Peck and Peter and then himself and went pink as well “Whu-! No! No, no, no, you got it wrong”

“Eh, just as well” Ray said as he stepped out of the backroom with two heavy tomes in his arms “We could use someone to test the antidote on before giving it to Peter”

“It’s a friendship gift!” Eduardo burst “Look, back home- uh, back when I lived in Mexico, today we celebrated ‘ _Día del amor y la amistad_ ’-”

“You celebrated a slave ship?” Peter asked, seeming weirded out even in his state.

“No- look, for _México_ , valentine’s day is not only for romantic love, it also celebrates friendship and familial love and- I figured, uh. Yeah”

“So you weren’t afflicted with any sort of love potion?” Ray said, sounding a bit disappointed.

“No- I just- it seemed like a nice detail, y’know? If I’d know there was weird ghostbuster stuff going on I would have waited”

Kylie sighed and took the box, inspecting it.

“Cat’s tongues” she said, shooting him a narrow-eyed glance that was also amused “ _Really?_ ”

He smiled a bit, and shrugged.

“Just for the record, if it had been a love-love kinda gift I would have gotten a bigger box”

“Not that this isn’t a cute display but I still have a rather _big_ problem here!” Peck hissed as Peter rubbed his cheek to his shoulder, like a cat.

“OK so you’re not affected. Any ideas on this?” Janine asked Eduardo.

“When our dogs got like that, _abue_ would throw them a pail of water”

“Tempting, but no”

“You know” Kylie said as she examined the chocolate box idly “If Puck is real I gotta wonder what else is. As far as stories and fairy-tales go, at least”

“Well, we know the sandman is real” Ray said, momentarily forgetting his task to ponder on the matter as well “And the boogieman too.”

“Of course” Janine groaned “It couldn’t be the nice stuff outta kids’ tales like the Tooth Fairy or Jack Frost or true love’s kiss-”

“Janine-! Janine, what did you just say?”

“True loves- oh” she made a face “You’re kidding me”

“What?” Eduardo looked at her and then Ray.

“In a lot of the stories, true love’s kiss is the ultimate antidote. Works for everything, from eternal sleep to death to shape-shifting spells” Ray’s words came out faster as excitement won over “If we are to consider the input of fairy-tales as plausible, we would definitely have to try that”

“One problem only, boss” Kylie said “Who’s Dr. Venkman’s true love? Who’s gonna kiss him?”

“Don’t look at me” Eduardo immediately deflected “He seems like an OK guy but he’s not my type”

“I’d say we called Dana but I don't think she's gonna believe me” Janine said, pensive “I mean, if an ex’s friend called me and said it just so happens that on valentine’s day they need my help, Lord knows I’d be suspicious too”

“Does he have any other exes?” Eduardo asked.

“Oh, hoho, If you only knew” Janine looked like he'd just told her a joke “He’s had too many exes to keep track- not that I think any of them would wanna come down and kiss him better”

“So, unless we find someone who not only likes- actually _loves_ Venkman, I’m stuck with him?” Peck asked. Ray nodded hesitantly and he breathed out- something like a sob or a chuckle, his shoulders sagging “...I’m _fucked_ ”

“Not necessarily!” Kylie squeaked as she straightened, still looking at the chocolate box “Boss- Eduardo’s right! There are many kinds of true love, not just romantic!”

Ray’s face lit up.

“Kylie, you’re a genius!” he got to his feet and went to Peter, who pressed against the bookcase as though hoping to phase through it and escape.

“Ray- Ray, you can’t be serious. Walter, say something!”

“Pucker up” was Peck’s laconic answer. When Peter tried to hide his face into his arm, he squirmed, pushing him away so that his face was exposed again “Come on, Venkman, put up with it, it’ll be over in a moment!”

“It’s for your own good” Ray added. Peter looked around the room searching for sympathy and latched eyes on Janine.

“Janine, a little help here? I’ll give you a raise!”

“You couldn’t pay me enough to make up for what I saw today” Janine said.

“I could try!”

“Y’know what? Fuck it” she went to him, but against what he seemed to expect, she actually helped Ray corner him. Peter squeezed eyes shut, as though preparing for a kick on the mouth or something like that “Oh, don’t be such a baby!”

She stood on her tiptoes to land a kiss on his cheek just as Ray leaned forward and landed another on his other cheek.

“Did it work?” Peck asked eagerly. There was a silent beat as Ray and Janine stepped back. Peter opened his eyes, something like white glitter falling from them as if he’d had it trapped among his eyelashes all along.

“Wow” he looked at them, seeming shocked and even touched for a moment, but almost immediately regaled them with a more character-compliant grin “Awww, you guys, I didn’t know you cared”

“Mr. Venkman, one would have to care in order to put up with your bullshit day-to-day” Peck said as he slid his arm out of Peter’s grasp gingerly “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to burn this suit”

As he took his leave, Eduardo leaned close to Kylie.

“Hey, am I crazy or did we just save the day?”

She pinched his cheek amicably.

“Don’t let it go to your head”

**Author's Note:**

> Random nuggets of knowledge I feel like sharing regarding this weirdness:
> 
> -I was originally going to have Kylie fall in love with Ron Alexander thanks to Puck's dust simply because I found the idea incredibly hilarious. However, the age difference made me iffy as to whether it was appropriate or not, seeing how it's not really 'Love' that the potion makes people feel, but obsession. It just seemed unbalanced, so I settled for the second best hilarious scenario idea with characters that have a similar chemistry and are always fun to put together in a room. The only thing I'm sorry about regarding the loss of the original scenario is having to give up on the idea of the GB team dog-pilling Kylie with affection to cure her from the potion's effects. Then again, I got to include Eduardo in this other scenario thanks to the changes, so it's not all bad news.
> 
> -I'm going to admit to having been thinking about 'Strange Magic' more than about 'Midsummer Night's Dream' while writing this. I'm a goober like that.
> 
> -Yes, abuelas in México do throw water at frisky dogs. I don't have prior knowledge on whether it works, though.
> 
> -Yes, cat-tongue chocolates are a thing. They're called 'Lenguas de gato' and the brand is 'Bremen' as I recall. Haven't had them in years but they're a must for valentine's day because they're cheaper than most nice chocolate brands and still delicious. Or rather, they were when I was a kid and forced to participate in gift exchanges. No idea if they still are.
> 
> -Just so you know, 'Please don't sing' is also my default response to Bill Murray singing.
> 
> -I'm not really opposed to Kylie/Eduardo in IDW!verse save for the fact that we know next to nothing about him, but I'm weak for them instead having a very deep, very close friendship instead. Where it goes from there, though, it's anyone's guess.


End file.
